self-sacrifice

the season of lent comes to a close this weekend - a season starting with the ashes of contrition followed by weeks of contemplation and self-denial to prepare ourselves for remembering today, good friday, and rejoicing in the risen christ on easter. in preparing for services this week (maundy thursday, good friday and easter) i have again spent time pondering the meaning of the cross. now there are many different themes in which one could understand the cross. for me, this season, i am considering what it means in terms of christ's self-sacrifice.

what really brought it home to me was the maundy thursday service... a day that isn't always celebrated, and when it is, the lord's supper is usually the focus. but this year i spent time thinking about what jesus did prior to breaking the bread and pouring the cup. he got down and washed his disciples' feet. it wasn't a servant. it wasn't one of the disciples. it was jesus, their teacher, their master...god. he took off his robe, tied a towel around his waist and went to work. he laid aside who he was and lovingly washed his disciples' feet. he could have insisted that one of the disciples do it. after all he was their teacher. but no, he did it to them.

i think about this in a culture in which we constantly thinks of ourselves. what about my rights? what's in it for me? i deserve better! even in the name of jesus christ people insist that they get their due... even at the cost of others... and it kinda makes me sad. jesus could have insisted on his rights. jesus could have said no to the cross, but he didn't. he didn't deserve it, and yet he bore our sins and was beaten and crucified. jesus lived out what he taught, "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."

we talk a lot about jesus' love... that we should love one another... that we should even love our enemies. jesus calls us to love as he has loved us. that love is sacrificial love, laying aside his rights, his divinity, his life... in this day and age, are we really up to that challenge?

there and back again...again 2.0

this is a re-post of an entry i wrote way back when i was in seminary, returning to school after spending spring break back home in seattle. i've been thinking a lot about changes in life lately. perhaps it's because we're going through the holidays, a time rich in family/community traditions, and how what we once did as a (extended)family no longer takes place. i'm also feeling how christmas has become a lot more busier for me as a pastor and things get dropped by the waste side.

and change is inevitable. we're living life half-way across the country and in a vocation that leaves an indelible mark not only on the pastor but also on the family. we're changing. life back in seattle has changed. sure we communicate back home over the phone and over skype, but it's not the same as being there, living life together. so yes, the world is changed...and i feel it...

originally posted on 4/5/2005

there is a scene at the end of the return of the king where the four hobbits have returned to the shire and are sitting down to enjoy a half-pint of ale with each other. as they sit, they share a 'knowing' look at each other. now in that look there is a sense that they were home, yet there was something different. those four went on a fantastic journey through middle earth with tales upon tales to be told, yet life went on as usual in the shire, and no one could care less. in many ways, they end up being almost like visitors in a familiar place. only they knew what they all went through, and in some ways, although they would probably share with other hobbits their adventures, the others would not fully understand what they experienced. for frodo, what he went through with the ring was so much that he left with the gandalf and the elves to the west.

thinking back to our trip home for spring break, i got the sense that things are changing. life goes on back in seattle. amazingly, things don't stop when we cross the city limits! people change. they live a whole new set of experiences separate from those experiences we have. though i am not carrying the ring of power, seminary has done a lot, even in the past month, to shape me, change my outlook and change who i am. now i am not saying that i don't feel welcomed or that i'm never going to come home. seattle will always be home to me. but when i do go home, how do i explain how God has shaped me in the few months that i've been gone? if i did go into it, could they understand fully what i've been through? would people even care? perhaps there will be a day when i'll sit down with denise at a starbucks in seattle with a mug of...umm...tea (denise likes tea) and share a knowing glance, understanding how our adventures in mordor, i mean los angeles, have changed us...

The world is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.

vacation to now

summer came and went really quickly.  i'd like to say i had a vacation, but it was more like a working vacation as i did a lot of traveling over a couple of months.  we took a few days to drive back to seattle in July. i flew back to SD and drove down iowa to go to synod school.  came back home for a couple of weeks, then flew back out to seattle.  once in seattle, i was able to spend some down time visiting family and friends.  toward the end of my time there i flew out again, this time to louisville, ky to attend the mindpoint meeting of the for such a time as this program through the pc(usa).  i flew back into seattle and then took a few days to drive back home with the family... many miles both on the ground and in the air logged this summer.

and even though it was vacation, it is difficult, being a pastor, to not think about the next sermon, what directions to take in ministry, congregational care issues, etc. these things are always on a slow simmer in the back of my mind... and since the trip was punctuated with ministry related  meetings and trips, it only served to stoke the fires a little bit more, keeping those thoughts brewing. 

it was nice to spend time with family and reconnect with friends back in seattle.  it was refreshing to worship back at presby and not have to worry about setting the order of worship and preparing the sermon.  it was a good trip, but i have to say that it's also nice to be back in town and back to a more normal routine.

fall is in full swing again.  there's a chill in the air - a reminder that winter is just around the corner.  the news is that the farmer's almanac predicts 200+ inches of snow for the area - we'll have wait and see about that. farmers are starting to harvest again. fall ministry is up and running with a lot of excitement and momentum.

life has been busy since being back... today is probably one of the first days that i've had some down time to get things taken care of around the house and to actually have time to compose this...

anniversary

It is one year ago today that hands were laid upon me and I was ordained as a minister of word and sacrament. One year as a pastor... and many more years to come. I was reminded of this last week when Rev. Dick came up to me during coffee hour and, in response to my sharing during worship service, told me how at his retirement someone reminded him that once ordained as a minister, always ordained as a minister and to carry on to not dishonor the office. Well, as a new pastor I hope I didn't do anything to bring dishonor to the office... I know I probably had many mistakes my first year and most likely many more mistakes to come. But overall I feel it was a good year of growth and learning, and also a chance to take off the rosy glasses of someone kinda fresh out of seminary, rolling up the sleeves and getting down to work as a pastor. It's been challenging... I know there is still a lot of growth left to do, but I am more rooted and confident in my role as a pastor. Here's to another year of learning, growth and service!

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year one

sorry... i haven't been keeping up with the blog. i've been involved with too many things to keep up to date with this thing. i'll try to update more frequently...

last weekend was the one year anniversary of when we first stepped foot in south dakota. it was the weekend when we met the congregations for the first time, i preached my candidating sermon and the congregation voted to extend a call to me. what a difference one year makes. moved half-way across the country, stepped into the roll of a pastor, endured what the locals call a hard winter, and now enduring heat, humidity, thunderstorms and bug bites...

even though it's been a year, i still feel like the new guy. sure i got some things under my belt, but i'm still really green as a pastor and still learning about the congregation and our community. there is still a lot to learn and a lot i'd like to do in this upcoming year.

it's kinda fun(ny)... i've been making summer travel plans and when input my information to buy airplane tickets there's the option to either put Mr, Dr, or REV! at first I hesitated selecting the Rev title and was going to settle for Mr. (it's still rather awkward for me to address myself as pastor mark, let alone rev. mark) but then i thought, "hey, i spent all those years in seminary, jumped through all the presbyterian hoops and am now serving in a couple of churches in south dakota...i think i shall enjoy the ability to select rev!" so there you go, flying the friendly skies soon will be the rev. mark! ha ha!

spring sprung

after a long week of ministry it was about time for some time off. it was a perfect day for some rest and relaxation - weather in the 60's, the sun is out... we've been cooped up so long in the house, it was nice to get outside and enjoy the spring that has finally come.
the kids drew on the driveway with the sidewalk chalk we got. they also blew bubbles and investigated a garter snake. i planted an herb garden and some sunflowers and pumpkins, giant ones... we'll see how they grow.
now were back inside and opened up the windows to let the wind breath fresh air into the house... now i think it's time for a nap :)

glitter and perfume

i have a funeral to officiate at the church this week. it is a funeral for a long-time faithful saint of the church, beloved by all. this morning my daughters wore to church the beautiful dresses they wore for christmas a couple of years ago for palm sunday. they are lovely dresses except for one thing... they shed glitter all over the place. with every move they made, glitter showered everywhere. with every sprinkle i'm thinking, we cannot have the church sparkling like that for the funeral... my asian genes kick in, and after church and after meeting with the family i returned to the church and tried vacuuming up all the glitter around the church. i felt guilty because just not two days ago on friday, the elderly couple that looks after the church vacuumed the church, and i felt guilty for all the glitter the girls left this morning and i felt that this couple should not have to vacuum up after the mess my kids made.

so with every push of the vacuum, i got frustrated with the kids... and with every speck of glitter that would not get picked up by the vacuum i envisioned the girls twirling around in their dresses, shedding glitter everywhere... and i was upset.

but then i began to think about the woman in the bible who lavishly poured the alabaster jar of perfume upon Jesus and how the disciples got mad at her because she wasted the expensive perfume that they could have sold to feed the poor. but she was praised by Jesus for doing a beautiful deed to prepare him for his death. then i thought about the visiting with the woman who passed and how much interest she had in my kids (she used to be a teacher) and i thought she might have liked the glitter on the ground... it made the drab carpet a little more sparkly. what a beautiful thing they (inadvertently) did, decorating the church for her funeral.

still, i didn't want the church looking like a claires boutique, so i continued to vacuum, a little less annoyed than when a started... and i also wasn't as uptight about it either... i left some there for rosalie :) and i'll smile a little when i see a sparkle here and there during the funeral on wednesday.