self-sacrifice

the season of lent comes to a close this weekend - a season starting with the ashes of contrition followed by weeks of contemplation and self-denial to prepare ourselves for remembering today, good friday, and rejoicing in the risen christ on easter. in preparing for services this week (maundy thursday, good friday and easter) i have again spent time pondering the meaning of the cross. now there are many different themes in which one could understand the cross. for me, this season, i am considering what it means in terms of christ's self-sacrifice.

what really brought it home to me was the maundy thursday service... a day that isn't always celebrated, and when it is, the lord's supper is usually the focus. but this year i spent time thinking about what jesus did prior to breaking the bread and pouring the cup. he got down and washed his disciples' feet. it wasn't a servant. it wasn't one of the disciples. it was jesus, their teacher, their master...god. he took off his robe, tied a towel around his waist and went to work. he laid aside who he was and lovingly washed his disciples' feet. he could have insisted that one of the disciples do it. after all he was their teacher. but no, he did it to them.

i think about this in a culture in which we constantly thinks of ourselves. what about my rights? what's in it for me? i deserve better! even in the name of jesus christ people insist that they get their due... even at the cost of others... and it kinda makes me sad. jesus could have insisted on his rights. jesus could have said no to the cross, but he didn't. he didn't deserve it, and yet he bore our sins and was beaten and crucified. jesus lived out what he taught, "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."

we talk a lot about jesus' love... that we should love one another... that we should even love our enemies. jesus calls us to love as he has loved us. that love is sacrificial love, laying aside his rights, his divinity, his life... in this day and age, are we really up to that challenge?

there and back again...again 2.0

this is a re-post of an entry i wrote way back when i was in seminary, returning to school after spending spring break back home in seattle. i've been thinking a lot about changes in life lately. perhaps it's because we're going through the holidays, a time rich in family/community traditions, and how what we once did as a (extended)family no longer takes place. i'm also feeling how christmas has become a lot more busier for me as a pastor and things get dropped by the waste side.

and change is inevitable. we're living life half-way across the country and in a vocation that leaves an indelible mark not only on the pastor but also on the family. we're changing. life back in seattle has changed. sure we communicate back home over the phone and over skype, but it's not the same as being there, living life together. so yes, the world is changed...and i feel it...

originally posted on 4/5/2005

there is a scene at the end of the return of the king where the four hobbits have returned to the shire and are sitting down to enjoy a half-pint of ale with each other. as they sit, they share a 'knowing' look at each other. now in that look there is a sense that they were home, yet there was something different. those four went on a fantastic journey through middle earth with tales upon tales to be told, yet life went on as usual in the shire, and no one could care less. in many ways, they end up being almost like visitors in a familiar place. only they knew what they all went through, and in some ways, although they would probably share with other hobbits their adventures, the others would not fully understand what they experienced. for frodo, what he went through with the ring was so much that he left with the gandalf and the elves to the west.

thinking back to our trip home for spring break, i got the sense that things are changing. life goes on back in seattle. amazingly, things don't stop when we cross the city limits! people change. they live a whole new set of experiences separate from those experiences we have. though i am not carrying the ring of power, seminary has done a lot, even in the past month, to shape me, change my outlook and change who i am. now i am not saying that i don't feel welcomed or that i'm never going to come home. seattle will always be home to me. but when i do go home, how do i explain how God has shaped me in the few months that i've been gone? if i did go into it, could they understand fully what i've been through? would people even care? perhaps there will be a day when i'll sit down with denise at a starbucks in seattle with a mug of...umm...tea (denise likes tea) and share a knowing glance, understanding how our adventures in mordor, i mean los angeles, have changed us...

The world is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.

vacation to now

summer came and went really quickly.  i'd like to say i had a vacation, but it was more like a working vacation as i did a lot of traveling over a couple of months.  we took a few days to drive back to seattle in July. i flew back to SD and drove down iowa to go to synod school.  came back home for a couple of weeks, then flew back out to seattle.  once in seattle, i was able to spend some down time visiting family and friends.  toward the end of my time there i flew out again, this time to louisville, ky to attend the mindpoint meeting of the for such a time as this program through the pc(usa).  i flew back into seattle and then took a few days to drive back home with the family... many miles both on the ground and in the air logged this summer.

and even though it was vacation, it is difficult, being a pastor, to not think about the next sermon, what directions to take in ministry, congregational care issues, etc. these things are always on a slow simmer in the back of my mind... and since the trip was punctuated with ministry related  meetings and trips, it only served to stoke the fires a little bit more, keeping those thoughts brewing. 

it was nice to spend time with family and reconnect with friends back in seattle.  it was refreshing to worship back at presby and not have to worry about setting the order of worship and preparing the sermon.  it was a good trip, but i have to say that it's also nice to be back in town and back to a more normal routine.

fall is in full swing again.  there's a chill in the air - a reminder that winter is just around the corner.  the news is that the farmer's almanac predicts 200+ inches of snow for the area - we'll have wait and see about that. farmers are starting to harvest again. fall ministry is up and running with a lot of excitement and momentum.

life has been busy since being back... today is probably one of the first days that i've had some down time to get things taken care of around the house and to actually have time to compose this...

anniversary

It is one year ago today that hands were laid upon me and I was ordained as a minister of word and sacrament. One year as a pastor... and many more years to come. I was reminded of this last week when Rev. Dick came up to me during coffee hour and, in response to my sharing during worship service, told me how at his retirement someone reminded him that once ordained as a minister, always ordained as a minister and to carry on to not dishonor the office. Well, as a new pastor I hope I didn't do anything to bring dishonor to the office... I know I probably had many mistakes my first year and most likely many more mistakes to come. But overall I feel it was a good year of growth and learning, and also a chance to take off the rosy glasses of someone kinda fresh out of seminary, rolling up the sleeves and getting down to work as a pastor. It's been challenging... I know there is still a lot of growth left to do, but I am more rooted and confident in my role as a pastor. Here's to another year of learning, growth and service!

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year one

sorry... i haven't been keeping up with the blog. i've been involved with too many things to keep up to date with this thing. i'll try to update more frequently...

last weekend was the one year anniversary of when we first stepped foot in south dakota. it was the weekend when we met the congregations for the first time, i preached my candidating sermon and the congregation voted to extend a call to me. what a difference one year makes. moved half-way across the country, stepped into the roll of a pastor, endured what the locals call a hard winter, and now enduring heat, humidity, thunderstorms and bug bites...

even though it's been a year, i still feel like the new guy. sure i got some things under my belt, but i'm still really green as a pastor and still learning about the congregation and our community. there is still a lot to learn and a lot i'd like to do in this upcoming year.

it's kinda fun(ny)... i've been making summer travel plans and when input my information to buy airplane tickets there's the option to either put Mr, Dr, or REV! at first I hesitated selecting the Rev title and was going to settle for Mr. (it's still rather awkward for me to address myself as pastor mark, let alone rev. mark) but then i thought, "hey, i spent all those years in seminary, jumped through all the presbyterian hoops and am now serving in a couple of churches in south dakota...i think i shall enjoy the ability to select rev!" so there you go, flying the friendly skies soon will be the rev. mark! ha ha!

spring sprung

after a long week of ministry it was about time for some time off. it was a perfect day for some rest and relaxation - weather in the 60's, the sun is out... we've been cooped up so long in the house, it was nice to get outside and enjoy the spring that has finally come.
the kids drew on the driveway with the sidewalk chalk we got. they also blew bubbles and investigated a garter snake. i planted an herb garden and some sunflowers and pumpkins, giant ones... we'll see how they grow.
now were back inside and opened up the windows to let the wind breath fresh air into the house... now i think it's time for a nap :)

glitter and perfume

i have a funeral to officiate at the church this week. it is a funeral for a long-time faithful saint of the church, beloved by all. this morning my daughters wore to church the beautiful dresses they wore for christmas a couple of years ago for palm sunday. they are lovely dresses except for one thing... they shed glitter all over the place. with every move they made, glitter showered everywhere. with every sprinkle i'm thinking, we cannot have the church sparkling like that for the funeral... my asian genes kick in, and after church and after meeting with the family i returned to the church and tried vacuuming up all the glitter around the church. i felt guilty because just not two days ago on friday, the elderly couple that looks after the church vacuumed the church, and i felt guilty for all the glitter the girls left this morning and i felt that this couple should not have to vacuum up after the mess my kids made.

so with every push of the vacuum, i got frustrated with the kids... and with every speck of glitter that would not get picked up by the vacuum i envisioned the girls twirling around in their dresses, shedding glitter everywhere... and i was upset.

but then i began to think about the woman in the bible who lavishly poured the alabaster jar of perfume upon Jesus and how the disciples got mad at her because she wasted the expensive perfume that they could have sold to feed the poor. but she was praised by Jesus for doing a beautiful deed to prepare him for his death. then i thought about the visiting with the woman who passed and how much interest she had in my kids (she used to be a teacher) and i thought she might have liked the glitter on the ground... it made the drab carpet a little more sparkly. what a beautiful thing they (inadvertently) did, decorating the church for her funeral.

still, i didn't want the church looking like a claires boutique, so i continued to vacuum, a little less annoyed than when a started... and i also wasn't as uptight about it either... i left some there for rosalie :) and i'll smile a little when i see a sparkle here and there during the funeral on wednesday.

st. patrick's day

trying to move st. patrick beyond shamrocks, leprechauns and green beer, here's a snippet from st. patrick's breastplate that i find meaningful:

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

snow+wind+basketball=more new adventures

you wouldn't expect that in the middle of march we'd get stuck in a blizzard. well, our year of firsts continued when a quick shopping trip 60 miles away turned into a mini-vacation when the wind kicked up to a steady 50+ mph and the snow started to fall... and before we could get out of there, they closed the interstate back home. we were stuck. we tried alternate routes, but with the weather the way it was, visibility next to zero, and the condition of rural county roads being bad, we turned back to where we started and looked for a hotel to stay the night. unfortunately, the state basketball tournament was going on at the same time and every hotel room in the city was booked. the hotels directed us to the salvation army shelter for stranded motorist.
but thanks be to God, some friends called us, and we told them of our predicament. they made a few calls and arranged for us to stay with some friends of theirs in the city. gratefully, we accepted and went to their place. they were very gracious to us. they had kids around the same age as ours and so the kids had a blast. we were able to spend a comfortable night with some new friends while the wind and snow blew crazy outside.
i was relieved to find out that this kind of stuff happens often. the weather is so unpredictable at times that people get stranded. i'm so thankful that we weren't spending the night in some ditch out in the country. God was truly watching out for us.

in print

the for such a time as this program i am participating in is described in this article, which features a part of my story and the churches where i serve. here is the link:
http://faithandleadership.com/features/articles/new-pastors-small-churches

five months and counting

i recently realized that this has been the longest stretch i have gone without stepping a foot in seattle - five and a half months. the last stretch was probably about 3 months when i was at fuller in pasadena - a combination of spring quarter and a couple of summer intensives before going home to seattle for vacation.

it's hard to believe that it's been that long. time has definitely gone by quickly (isn't there something about time flying when you're having fun?). in that time there's been many firsts both in life and as a pastor. we've met many great people. we've grown together as a family. i'm growing into my role as a pastor. it's been a season of adjustment and growth.

however, as the snow gently melts (yes it is slightly melting... leaving ice behind) and we look forward to spring and new life, i feel that it's high time to start doing something different, new. it feels like i've been hiding behind the mantle of the 'new guy' or the 'new pastor' and it's high time to get past that and move forward in life and ministry. i'm not sure what shape that will take, but i've been excited from the start at the potential that the two congregations i serve have for ministry to the community.

ordinary time

following the liturgical calendar we are in what's called ordinary time. we just got through advent and christmas and lent and easter are still over a month ahead, and so it is this in between time that i am finding myself recovering from christmas and planning for lent and easter.
it is also in this period of time that i am realizing that i have been leading worship and preaching weekly for about 20 weeks. there was one week when i was out of town and another week when the children did the christmas program at one of the churches... but i still needed to prepare and preach at the other church that week... so 19 weeks in total (16 in a row). Now I realize that that's not a record by any means, but i do recognize that perhaps i am in a lull or a funk right now... it feels as though I've been preaching the same of message for the past 3 weeks now (which, of course, i didn't)... that the routine of prepping for worship and preaching a sermon week by week may become... well, ordinary.
yet the act of worship and the delivery of a message should not by any means be ordinary. when we enter into worship service on Sunday morning, we intentionally come before the living God and offer up our worship to him. when the preacher stands in the pulpit and delivers the sermon, that is the culmination of a week or more of wrestling with the text and dancing with the Spirit to bring about a word for the congregation. All this is wrapped in the mystery of God at work in our lives and in our worship on Sunday mornings. That is anything but ordinary.
so perhaps this week things need to be shaken up... preach from a different text, sing different music...something to wake us up out of our snowy, mid-winter slumber... because if we are in Christ, we are not living in ordinary times...

christmas eve

It's Christmas eve and I'm missing Christmas in Seattle. In about an hour there will be candlelight service at presby and I miss old friends. I miss the post-candlelight dinner with family and the peace of driving in the quiet streets to family houses.
However in missing Christmas in seattle I have to remember not to overlook the new friendships and traditions started here. We had a wonderful time with our candlelight celebrations and plenty of new friends to celebrate with. And Christmas is beautiful with fresh snow, crisp air and bright lights. I do miss family. It's our first Christmas away from everyone. But I am happy to be a part of the lives of the people here and to celebrate with them as well. With the wonders of technology,
the distance doesn't seem as far. Needless to say I think we'll be spending a lot of time on Skype tomorrow. Better fire up that webcam. Merry Christmas!

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digging out

we had about 5-6 inches of snow last night. This was the second snow storm with significant accumulations this season. So I spent some time this afternoon clearing the walkways in front of the house and clearing the path to the mailbox.
internships are suppose to prepare you for the work you will be doing once you start your vocation for real. Who knew that shoveling snow during my internship at presby was in preparation for me to be a pastor in here... it was rather prophetic preparation to say the least!

advent

For the four Sundays in advent I am doing a sermon series focusing on the person of Jesus, entitled "What Child is This?" that coincides with the advent candles (prophet, Bethlehem, shepherds and angels). The first week I dealt with Jesus as more than just a prophet, asking the question Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do you say I am?" This past Sunday I spoke on why Jesus came to us a king in a manger, and the intimacy of God knowing who we are and identifying with us by coming to us in such a lowly manner. Next week is Jesus as the good shepherd. For the fourth week I'm focusing on Jesus as the good news the angels proclaimed.
I know there is a lot more theological depth to plunge into when you're talking about the person of Jesus and christology, but I have found it refreshing to try to keep things simple... not throwing a lot of theological baggage around. And that is refreshing, not worrying about who said what about this or that, but simply letting Jesus be Jesus. It is probably easier said than done - we always bring something from ourselves when we think about Jesus - but if we let the text speak, I think we can come to some fresh perspectives on Jesus, especially during this advent season.

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whether weather

Sorry for not being so diligent in updating my blog. It's almost a given. if you have a blog you don't update it... i've been busy with Thanksgiving and now were in full swing with Advent.
Anyway, for the past week or so i've been rather obsessed with the weather. The temperature has dropped and it has barely broken over freezing once or twice over the past couple of weeks. i've been going to NOAA a lot to check the forecasts and to watch the doppler radar to see if there's snow coming. Last week we were suppose to get some snow, but the storm pretty much missed us. However, today we got our first significant snow of the season. It's been snowing all day. there must be about 3 inches on the ground now. Unfortunately, i think it's too cold for the kids to go out and play. Plus, it's powder snow, so it's not really good snowball snow :{

times of our lives

I performed my first baptism yesterday. It was a wonderful celebration with lots of family and friends in attendance along with the congregation. It got me thinking about the unique and I would argue sacred role a pastor plays in the life of church members. We are involved in very significant points in people's lives - from birth to death we are invited in to participate in major milestones - be it the baptism of a child to the death of a loved one. Now I know this from my pastoral theology courses and such, but it doesn't truly hit until you actually are participating in such a capacity. I was just struck and humbled by the reality of it all as I prepared and administered the sacrament. My life and the lives of the people in the congregation are intertwined in unique and often otimes intimate ways that we as pastor should hold as precious and holy. As I fumble around in my first call as pastor, I hope and I pray that I can serve my congregation with all the dignity, honor and respect that these moments demand, all the while bringing glory to the God I serve and give thanks to for this privilege.

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high-tech farming

yesterday i had the opportunity to ride in a combine harvesting corn. (the picture is not an actual picture of me in the combine... just a pic i pulled off the web that looked like yesterday). it was an awesome experience. i didn't realize how much technology went into farming. there was a gps system installed that tracked where we were harvesting. tied to that was a computer that measured and tracked the yield and moisture content of the grain harvested (there were probably other variables measured, but it was fairly involved system). so at the end of the harvest there is a map that shows how the different areas of the field yielded and the farmers can then go back to the field to figure out why that area did or did not yield as much crop...pretty sweet. i've gained a new appreciation and respect for the work farmers do - it's hard work, pretty risky and takes a lot of smarts and know-how.

ladybugs

Sorry I haven't updated on a long while. Life has been busy getting settled in ahome and church - not to mention doing some traveling.

Our home is being invaded by ladybugs! I guess it could be worse like cockroaches, but it is funny to see these ladybugs pop up here and there around the house. I am always reminded by Dennis Leary that not all ladybugs are ladies.

new book, new characters

as lucy, edmund, susan and peter waited for the train, they were magically drawn back to the land of narnia. however, they did not return where they left off. no, it's been over a thousand years in narnia since they left and all of the friends they made were long gone. where are the beavers? where is mr. tumnus? even their kingdom, cair paravel was left in ruins. it was again, a brand new world to explore and new friends to make. there was no real time to say goodbye to the beavers and mr. tumnus. they were quickly thrusted into a new world and new adventure.

that is how i feel at times. my last few days in seattle were fast and furious. so much had happened in the last few weeks in seattle and then it feels almost instantly that we were transported to south dakota with a whole new cast of characters to meet. no, mr. tumnus isn't here, nor are the beavers, and we miss our family and friends in seattle. However, we have been meeting trumpkins and reepicheeps here in south dakota, and they are proving to be faithful partners in the opening chapter of our new book. And needless to say, the same aslan is here as he was in seattle, and that is a comforting thought.